Summer nights

The days here in the south are unbearable.  If you dare to step outside you run the chance of 1) heat stroke or 2) taking your last breath because of the humidity.  Believe me, you don't want a summer day to fly by.  As a child, with each passing day you knew the start to school was inevitable.  I guess as an adult I fear it now too...in a different kind of way...just knowing this is my last summer.  I want to soak it in.  Rising at noon, sprinklers, lemonade, poolside, fresh fruit, barbecues, later bed time, sweat, hushpuppies, snow cones, the ice cream man, sunsets, painting, relaxing, fresh veggies, shorts, sweet tea, sunflowers, catfish, bikinis, the beach (ones BP forgot to destroy), seafood, mosquito bites, chalk, s'mores, honeysuckle, friends, laughter.  I love it all.
But as the sun heads West, the temperature goes down.  The grill fires up.  We sit outside.  The sky turns every shade of pink, orange, and gold.  A majestic scene for all to see.  As we eat, the sky begins to twinkle.  First, with lightning bugs and then with starts.  When the moon is high its time for bed.  As we lie down to slumber the familiar sound of cicadas lull us to sleep.  No thoughts fill our heads.  How could we worry on days like these?  We drift off in our prayers...everyone at peace. 

Lock me up and throw away the key

As we all know, I love my life in retail.  I love working crazy hours.  I love getting there at 6 A.M. on random days to blow up 90 balloons (with my mouth) for a window set that stays up for 10 days.  I know I will love getting there at 5 A.M. tomorrow to do another window set.  I love steaming.  I love a good wall fold.  I love taking the trash out and cleaning the bathrooms.

But most of all?

I love the music.

Did you know the disc repeats itself every four hours (which is how long my shifts are)?  This is secretly a blessing because I know when I hear Xtina (Back to Basics 2006) when I walk in...I will hear her when I walk out too.  It's a way for me to know I'm done.  I'm tortured by Michael Buble, Ace of Base, Christina Aguilera, and Alicia Keys (pre-The Diary of Alicia Keys) for four solid hours.  But the ONE tune that lingers with me for the rest of the day...the ONE that makes me want to run screaming into a pack of wolves (or children for that matter)...is

Love in the First Degree (Bananarama)


Here, feel free to enjoy their musical stylings. 

Torture

Did you catch the lyrics?  Really.  Comparing love to a first degree offense is delusional.  I mean, the only person I've ever known "accuseddddd" of "love in the first degree" is Chris Brown and look what its done to Rhianna.

I was certain Bananarama's career ended in the 80's.  Who knew they released a single in 2009?

I would love to lock them up and throw away the key.

Signed my life away

This weekend I did it.

I signed a lease.  The place where I will live.  A place I will pay for with my "fake money" aka MY loan.  But no worries...I'll pay for it one day.  (Cue nervous cackling) :)

So here's how it went down.  Headed to the Big City on Friday.  The mother and I had been looking at apartments on Craigslist for some time.  We set up several appointments.  Even had a sweet little itinerary.  I was looking forward to this trip.  I knew once this part of my life was finalized I would feel more at ease.  This weekend I was also meeting my roommate...the girl I had never met before.  We became fast friends on the phone but meeting in person brought on some anxiety for me.

Once we got there we started meeting with different "communities" in the area.  (I hate it when people try to put a spin on common things to sell you something)  The first one was great.  Tons of amenities, new, beautiful, and ready to move.  Downfall, it was in the hood.  Lovely.

On we marched.  At this location I met the roomie.  I thought we would have a second to get "acquainted" but we were both running late so it was just a quick hug between the two of us as we walked in the door.  Perfect way to start off our "roommate/friend" relationship (how we classified ourselves on applications). We learned here that a 1920's refurbished hotel was NOT what we were looking for.  HUGE window units are also not attractive.  Also found mold allllll over the bathrooms, no air in the hallways (can you saw heat stroke), the stench of a dead person enveloped one hallway (raises some questions, since it wasn't throughout the building...just saying), and barred windows on a building doesn't really scream "welcome home".  Oh and the concierge saying "You can walk to the metro that way BUT only during daylight hours".....

Our final appointment that day was at this little piece of heaven.  When I walked in to the model I had a Sarah Jessica Parker moment.  "Hello, I live here"

Well not here but you get it.  It just felt like home.  Huge closets.  Old but refurbished.  My own bathroom.  Huge living area.  A lot for my money.  Parking was cheap-ish.  Parking is something we take for granted in the south.  It's free.  In the mid-west, it is not free.  Like at all.  That was the biggest shock to this little belle.

We took Saturday to look at a few more.  Found another one we both really liked but settled on my original love.  We signed the lease.  I start paying in August.  PAYING.  Like money.  I'm a big girl.  I love my area...in the Central West End.  Has a Georgetown feel.  I can walk to class, the grocery store, bars, Forest Park...whatever...it's all around me.  Precious coffee shops all around me.  Sushi EVERYWHERE.

What I can't wait to do: Explore Forest Park-everything is free: the zoo, outdoor amphitheater that plays old movies, art museum, science center.  Shop.  Eat.  Go out.  Learn how to get around the city.  Really just Experience the Big City.

What I learned: I should have been Italian...I could live on The Hill.  People say it is hot there but they have no idea...no humidity.  I like raw tuna.  I have an "accent"- everyone looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language but they loved it...guess it will be my charm. 

The next chapter of life begins now

I just signed for it

Where the heart is

I had no idea what the small town nestled between "the trees high branches" and "whispering southern breeze" would offer me.  I was terrified to go to college but look at me now.

The town itself is great.  Where else can you actually eat chicken battered and fried and on a stick?  Oh but it's more than that.  It's Hotty Toddy in the Grove, William Faulkner history, my beautiful white house, Bottle Tree, the Square, long walks all over town, swimming in the Phi Mu fountain, walking to class in the pouring rain, amazing concerts, rocking in rocking chairs on the front porch, sweet tea, Newk's, the Library (not the one with books), staying out all night, formals, talking until you fall asleep, and on and on.

While these things will always be fond memories it will be the people that I will take with me.  All of my adventures were with my friends, all my hurt was with my friends, all my joy was with my friends, I shared everything with my friends.

While these are only a few of the sweet faces I love so much, it was these people who changed me for the better and made me who I am today.  I've been sad this summer knowing that come August, Oxford won't be my home.  These people won't be coming to St. Louis with me.  It is sad.

But this is what I've come to realize: it doesn't matter if we all end up in a different city, it doesn't matter that some of us are taking new last names, it doesn't matter if we have big girl (or boy) jobs. Because in "our" place we grew up together, loved together, learned together, cried together, laughed together, and just plain lived together.   

They are all a part of me.  I will take them wherever I go.  It's my memories. 

They are my heart.

All the things I would have said

This past weekend was edotlouise's wedding day.  What a year it has been.  It seems like just yesterday it was July 4 2009.  We talked that day.  Kurt told Emily they were going to Oxford to see the fireworks that night.  She didn't want to go.  Ha.  She was tired from camp, felt grungy from just getting in, and just wanted to chill.  Thank goodness he convinced her to go.  That night beneath the fireworks, he proposed.  So flash-forward to June 11 2010.  The night before THE wedding.  Speech time at the rehearsal dinner.  I didn't say anything.  I just wasn't prepared but I was harassed after wards by many for not speaking up.

So here is what I would have said.

Hi, I'm Beth.  I'm sure I look very unfamiliar to most of you being that I am not from Tupelo.  I am an Ole Miss friend and unlike most of the friends here I have not known Emily for a million years.  I wasn't there when her heart was broken in the 7th grade, I wasn't there for every ballet performance (in fact, I've never seen her dance before...well besides skit and in the privacy of our own home), or even to pass notes on school days.  I missed all of that but in my time with Emily I got to see a different girl from everyone else.

I know we met freshman year when we both pledged the same sorority but I just can't pinpoint a particular day.  Even sophomore year we weren't that "tight" because she lived on the other wing of the dorm.  But junior year.  Yeah junior year.  We were tight.  We were both in the white house.  I spent many hours in room 13 chatting.  Getting advice only Emily could give.  Admiring her cute artwork on the walls.  Getting a back rub on a bad day.  Big or small it didn't matter.

In November we were in an election against each other for president of our sorority.  It was a tough battle and in the end she was our leader.  To be honest, I was devastated.  After I got it together I went into her room and we just talked.  THAT was the night we became best friends.  I had the pleasure of working with her as vice president that year.  We were one brain.  Working hand in hand.  It was a great balance.

By the end of our reign we were ready to be OUT.  She asked me if I wanted to live with her and Hart for the next semester.  I jumped at the opportunity because this was her last time to live as a single girl would.  Little did I know what that time would give us.  In that time I got to see Emily for what she is.  She is always described with the sweet voice and gentle spirit.  And yes, these things are true but I found so much more in one semester in close quarters.  I watched her write and defend a 100 some odd page thesis.  She spent months on it and sheer determination was the only thing that got her through.  Watching her defend the thesis almost made me cry.  The way she commanded the room was breath-taking.  I also know: she is strong, she encourages in a way unlike any other, she will force you to eat anything she cooks, she can drink coffee at any hour of the day-even on days when it's too hot to drink coffee, she will cry with you just when you feel like crying, she will pray for you, she will pray with you, she will pay attention to you when no one else is listening,  she will dance for you just to make you laugh, she will carry your burdens, she will guide you, she will teach you how to be the kind of friend you want to be, oh and the list goes on and on. 

Emily will be the perfect bride.  I know she will be breath-taking in her dress (she was).  I'm sure her dad will shed a tear coming down the aisle (not sure if that happened on the aisle but pretty sure it did that day).  But more than that she will be the perfect mate for Kurt.  They balance each other so well.  Kurt with the care-free spirit, Emily with the level-headedness (I just made up a word).  Emily I-am-going-to-do-this-in-seven-steps-when-it-can-be-done-in-four and Kurt let's-do-it-now-and-fast. And with mothering in her nature...he will always be very well taken care of.  

I hope for nothing but happiness in all that you do.  I hope you are quick to forgive.  I hope you fall into each others arms after a long day.  Keep faith, pray, but most of all....love. 

Congratulations



So that's what I would have said. 

 

Couldn't Wait

I just love my daily job of mediocrity. 
No surprises.
Get to work.
Clock in.
Discuss daily promotions with manager.
Greet "clients".
Smile.
Put them in a dressing room.
Encourage them to make a purchase.
Take them to the counter to pay.
See them out.
Pretend like you are busy until the next person comes.
Do it all over again.
Clock out.
Everyday.
It looks something like this....

Today a motley crew entered the store.  Two mothers and four boys between them.  All speaking another language I was not familiar with.  The ENTIRE time they were in the store they were screaming to each other in said language.  Like this...

The boys were running rampant through the store.  Knocking over racks.  Ripping things off tables.  Unfolding my perfectly board folded tee's.  Since mother did not find it in her power to reprimand them, I took matters into my own hands.

No, no.  My discipline came in a form like this.

After a dispute with the "translator" (aka the only woman who could speak English) over a dress that was $9.88, enough was enough.  I was ready for them to go.  They did end up buying a dress.  Their scent of musk left my store and I went back to making fashion wrong's right.
A little while later we attempted to put another client in the room THEY previously occupied.  My coworker walked in to this...

Oh and a urine sample would have been more sanitary than what we happened upon.  No, we found a  medium McDonald's cup FULL of urine.  Two thoughts crossed my mind.  1) Mother was really talented to pull something like this off and 2) if it was not in fact mother who performed such an ungodly act, one of those children could qualify for the largest bladder in human history.

Either way, we know the culprit just couldn't wait.

Kind of girl

I recently saw Sex and the City 2. I thought the movie was good but not as great as the first one. This time around they focused on marriage- how to make it work and big decisions, motherhood, and THE clothes. I envy what they get to wear, lust after the shoes, and salivate over every juicy accessory- I found that was all I could relate to in this movie. Well, that was until they made it to Abu Dhabi. While in the Middle East, the women really focused on womanhood and independence. Now THAT is something I can relate to.

It's really important to me to have a career. I like the idea of having Dr. before my name. Knowing that is something I did for ME. Something I worked really hard for. It's important to me to have a voice. Believe me, I DO have a voice. I'm not one to sit back and watch. I like to make things happen. Is this intimidating? Possibly.

In the same breath, I am a southern girl. I like doting. God forbid you not open the door for me. I would never dream of picking up the check on a date (well at least not on the first one). Is this confusing? Definitely.

I'm just that kind of girl.