Bravery

What is "brave" anyway?  It can be used as a noun, verb, or adjective...heck, you can even slap on an -ly and it becomes an adverb.  And *I* would be really brave trying to decipher in what way it was being used.  Grammar...especially parts of speech...were never my strong suit.

I've been told a lot recently that "my plan" makes me brave.  I laugh almost every time I hear this.  I wonder what's brave about it.  Am I brave for going to school for four more years?  Am I brave for voluntarily taking on the curriculum?  Am I brave for moving to the Big City?  Am I brave for stepping out and trying something new?  I really have no clue.  I don't consider what I'm doing brave. 

Am I nervous?  Yes. 

Am I sure of my decision? Absolutely. 

For the first time in my entire life I can honestly say I've allowed myself to be "the clay".  This is the first decision where I have not tried to manipulate the outcome.  The day I was sent the application I just laughed it off.  I sat and read the brochure.  I felt honored to have received it but doubted I would ever get in.  I decided I would send it in anyway.  Worth a shot.  I was then asked to interview.  No big deal.  Protocol.  I went.  Saw an amazing facility but left knowing I would never get in.  I got in.  Had a thirteen hour car ride back from spring break.  I decided on that ride I belonged in the Big City.  Sent my mom a text message confirming my decision.  That night I signed my papers and sent them in.  It was done.  Since then, I've been matched with a fabulous roommate, signed papers for an apartment, worked on decorating it, and been selected to lead tours and meet with prospective students.  Every thing has fallen into place and with virtually no assistance from me.

I appreciate the notion that I'm "brave".  Really, I'm not.  There was never another choice.  I'm doing the only thing there is to do.  I have total faith in my decision. 

Just doing what He told me to do.