I Am From

My junior year I was involved in a Bible study in my sorority.  Our fearless leader (edotlouise) had us write "I am from" poems.  She wanted us to bring them to "class" and read them aloud.  I actually wrote the poem but refused to read it...I actually never showed it to anyone.  I was scared I would do the big ugly cry.  I probably still would today but writing how I feel makes me more comfortable than actually verbalizing it.  Tonight I found my I am from poem.  I love reading things I wrote a while ago.  I can lose myself in the words and take myself back to exactly how I was feeling.

Here is the poem... I didn't let you down edotlouise!  This is exactly what was written two years ago.  I am still "from" that place...although, I think I could add more today.  A lot has happened in two years!

I am from Bill and Susan
I am from freckles from my Dad...plus every allergy on the planet
I am from my daddy...where I got my sense of humor
I am from my twin...my mother
I am from a mother who is my best friend
I am from a mother who taught me to be independent
I am from special parents...my full time cheerleaders
I am from a little sister who I can have a conversation with without saying a word
I am from a little sister who taught me my love of music, words, and others
I am from a small Middle Eastern country
I am from my Papa a Mississippi Senator, farmer, and business owner
I am from my Papa...the man who taught me work ethic
I am from my Mimi who taught me my love of painting
I am from my Mimi who taught me the word
I am from a diverse family
I am from my Sancee who taught me Tina Turner and James Dean
I am from my Sancee who taught me to never give up
I am from the Crazy Ladies with whom I share all my secrets
I am from road trips with my aunts
I am from family performances on Christmas Eve
I am from an understanding God
I am from a God that shows me I am never alone
I am from Saturdays in the Grove
I am from Delta Gamma...a place where I learned what true friendship is
I am from Room 6
 I am from rocking chairs on the front porch
I am from stressing out when I don't need to
I am from a God who hurts when I hurt
I am from skinned knees and mosquito bites
I am from patience and compassion
I am from laughter and pure joy
I am from made up accents
I am from silly dances
I am from reaching further than you think is possible


All these special things make me...


Me



This just made me smile tonight.

So, where are you from?

Stream of Consciousness

This post will be about whatever I want to talk about.  Just like my title, my ramblings and musings.  Here goes.

As I continue #mylifeinretail (this makes sense if you follow me on Twitter) I get more irritated with each passing day.  When you are a customer and come to an OUTDOOR mall when it is 1000 degress outside...you ARE looking for something.  When I greet you at the door and say, "Hi, are you shopping for something special today?" or "What are you out shopping for?"...I fully expect for you to tell me...otherwise I wouldn't have asked.  Consider the next time you are out shopping actually telling the poor employee WHAT you are looking for.

After steaming the "fall collection" today for 4.5 hours I discovered that IS actually the greatest form of torture I could ever engage in.  I can hardly speak about it.  I have never known such frustration.  Holy trouser pants.

I have had a lovely week.  I got to visit my "Pharm Cat" friend...Janety.  We visited in her hometown as I traveled to Jackson.  We stopped and ate at El Cabrito...meaning The Little Goat.  I decided it was safest to eat seafood...so I could actually determine its origin...goat, chicken, and cat all pretty much look the same...shrimp looks like shrimp.  After we broke bread (tortillas in this instance) I motored to Jackson.  I got to spend the night with the married couple.  When I arrived edotlouise had these waiting on me.

They even shared some of their Napa Valley Honeymoon wine with me.  K gave me a wine tasting session.  I learned this particular chardonnay was heavy on the oak.  Ok then.  Tasted like wine to me.

Their new addition, Piper did some tricks for us.

Her daddy loves her too.  It is hilarious to see.

Cute Family

Piper's Fairy Godmother

The next day I shopped with edotlouise.  I spotted a Gigi's while we were out...so of course we had to go.

Then I went to see Mimi.  She is doing great by the way.  Spent the night at her house that night.  We ate at the cabin.  My uncle and aunt made steaks, homemade fries, strawberry salad, and french bread.  So good!  Sister and I got to hang out with one of the baby cousins.

He is basically obsessed with us...and for good reason.  I screwed up BIG TIME by asking if his hairstyle was inspired by Justin Bieber.   Um woah.  In case you were wondering...its not.  Justin ripped HIM off.  I can totally see why.  Isn't he a little stud?  He's too sweet too.  Knows everything about everything and takes care of everyone.  Heart.break.er.

I guess I've said enough for today.

Toot Toot

I'm sure most of you know about what I've been working on this week.  Soooooo here it is.  An entire entry on my little dresser!

I've been so lucky to "inherit" different pieces of furniture for my new place.  I have been working hard all summer getting all the things I need think I need for my apartment to be just perfect.  I really appreciate all my special gifts.  About a week ago I got this little dresser that I will use in my living room because the space is so large.  Its original purpose was to be an entertainment center but I've since decided it will just be a catch-all.

Wednesday I headed to Home Depot to collect my supplies.  I worked with a lovely woman named Tameka (which is actually in auto-spell on my phone?).  When I told T about my plan she looked at me like I was absolutely crazy.  I brought along my inspiration (which you will see shortly).  We stood there for no less than 30 minutes picking out colors.  I finally settled on "Mariner"...who knew there were 4 million different shades of turquoise.  And a glaze called "tobacco".  And so it begins.

(Quite a beauty...not talking about the dresser)

(Mother told me to pose)

(Yes, these are the only "before" pictures.  I was too eager to get started)

Here are my supplies.  And the inspiration for the piece...my little Anthro urn.

So I sand and sand and sand.  Then I brought the dresser inside because it is close to 5,000 degrees outside.  This is "Mariner" untouched.  Woah...it was bright but the perfect color. 

So of course, every good piece of furniture needs some good hardware.  Am I right?  Obviously.

Clearly, they came from my favorite store.  I just knew the amber would look awesome (possibly righteous) with the turquoise.  Right again.


So here we are with the finished product.  I messed up a drawer so that is what has taken me a little longer.  It was almost a knock down drag out for me and Boosin (Mother).  Surely you find that hard to imagine...but it really felt like the fights we would have when I was trying to learn my spelling words. Oh me lard.

Since you've all been waiting with baited breath.

And because I am a huge nerd...a little staging.

What do you think?  I'm in love.

I don't mean to toot my own horn but...ummm...



Toot toot

Can't thank you enough

Thanks my sweet friends for all the prayers.  The surgery went well.  The cancer was so small that they had to consult with a radiologist on where exactly it was.  Thank God!  They feel very sure they got everything.  Again, thank you God!

She was in much more pain than she anticipated so I will ask for continued prayers.  Just that her recovery process becomes easier and that she is well taken care of when family has to go home at night.

Thanks again for all the thoughts, phone calls, texts, just everything.  It means so much.

I just can't thank you enough. 

Say a little prayer

Tomorrow morning my grandmother will have surgery to remove a spot of cancer from her lung.  I have been looking tonight for scripture that really would speak to me, encourage me, and comfort me.  I know this surgery will be a great success.

Psalm 18:2 
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.


and

Deuteronomy 31:6
 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Tonight before you go to bed, I ask that you say a little prayer.  And tomorrow, please think about her throughout the day.  Please pray specifically for her surgeons.  That they are able to get everything and can perform the procedure in the most effective way.  I pray that she is at peace tomorrow and I pray that the recovery process is easier than she ever imagined. 

Thank you my sweet friends

Delta Heart A-Callin'

After working everyday for a solid ten days I finally got a break.  I had this weekend off and it was oh-so-glorious.  I decided the only way I wanted to spend the break was in the Mississippi Delta. 

I traveled Friday with Mother to her small hometown.  A blip on the map but a place full of incredible stories and childhood memories (hers and mine).  This trip I really drank in every aspect of my trip, taking mental pictures at every turn knowing it would be a while before I return.

After you get off I-55 you spend the rest of your trip on two lane roads.  Some might consider this misery, especially if you get stuck behind a slow car and are unable to pass for a while, but this time I wanted to go slow.  When you hit the Delta you are surrounded by perfect rows of corn, cotton, beans, even sunflowers- depending on the season.  The land in so flat you can see for miles.  You can literally see all the way to where the sky meets the ground.

Driving into town we pass the building that is my grandparents former store.  It burned ten or so years ago.  It really felt like we lost a family member that day.  As a child I: played with the mannequins, played all up in the store windows, tried on "fancy dresses" and big beautiful hats that came with hat boxes, made bows on a manual bow machine, played on Papa's typewriter, "sold" clothes, looked cute, hid in clothes racks, tried on shoes, bought clothes from the boy side, played in the jewelry case, sat on the counters and "visited", sat in Papa's chair (when he wasn't looking), ran wild, climbed up and down the rolling ladders, played hide and seek, and really who knows what else.  I just know we ALWAYS wanted to be up there.  We would stay all day long.  It was just plain f-u-n.      

Turning off Hayden Street we headed to Mimi's.  When we arrived we stepped out of the car and immediately started to melt.  I don't know what it is about the Delta but the heat index is comparable to that of the sun.

We walked inside that big white house.  The one with the welcoming front porch with the swing hanging on the left side of the house.  Mimi always greets you at the door and at that same time the smell of homemade bread overwhelms your senses.  The house itself is a piece of history.  A Sears Roebuck house ordered from a magazine and shipped in.  The interior of the house has the highest ceilings, big chunky white crown molding, and is something like a museum/art gallery/time capsule.  The walls are filled with Mimi's priceless oil canvases, Big Mama's world renowned stitchery, authentic pieces from Lebanon, Mississippi Senate history, and the growth of one large family through pictures. 

You never feel alone inside that house.  It is so alive and like a member of the family.  It watched six children grow up.  They soon brought their spouses and their children in.  And now, even some of the grandchildren have children.  We've all grown up here.  We spent every Christmas- every holiday here.  If you listen carefully you can hear "the women" talking in the living room, the pitter-patter of little feet, deep chuckles around the dinner table.  You can smell home-cooked meals, taste homemade chocolate cake, and feel love all around.  You really can feel it...such peace.

Saturday I got to cook with Mimi.  It really is an art because you don't use measurements.  We made chicken spaghetti and if I am able to duplicate it, it will be a miracle.  We just added ingredients until it felt right.  These are the kinds of memories I will cherish forever.  I hope I can cook like her one day.  There were constant battles in my house because there were certain things I would eat at Mimi's but not for my mom because it "didn't taste like Mimi's". 

I also love "going downtown" or really any place where people (who aren't my family) are.  I feel like  a celebrity every time I go.  I hardly ever know who is who but they know me.  And everyone is so glad to see you.  After this weekend, I feel like every one in the town should know my plans for next year.  I felt so special and so very encouraged.  My extended family.

And while I can't claim to be a "delta girl", I am going to call myself a "delta girl" by extension.  I'm glad I got my fix.  Because my delta heart has been calling.

You probably didn't even know

I talked to a friend today that I have missed so much since graduation.  We saw each other at "the wedding" and we've talked a few times.  We got really close during my senior year when I lived in the house and could walk down the hall to her room and lay all my problems out there and then she would give me the advice I needed and we would go on our way.  We always had great conversations and I would like to say I gave her as much good advice as she gave me.

Today was like every other conversation.  She probably doesn't know, but my she just lifted me up today.  It was so great catching up.  I have such a good friend in Millsy.  You brightened my day.

Thanks for listening to me, laughing with me (and at me), and bringing me back to earth sometimes.

You are the sweetest.

Oh hey boy

I saw recently that I have a new follower.  A boy.  Not just any boy though.  My boy bff.  So he SHOULD be a follower. ;)

Let me tell you about ol' Richardo.

He is cute as a button.  I mean, absolutely a-dor-able.  See?

Stalker much?

He knows everyone on this planet...and when you look like ^ (means see above picture) that...who WOULDN'T want to be your friend? Honestly, I probably wouldn't know half the people I do know if it wasn't for Richie. He would give you the shirt off his back.  He led everything on campus.  That's why we're friends...because we're so popular.  He does this hilarious Chinese man impersonation.  He sings like an angel.  We could laugh until we cried...all the time.  He loves all things Neshoba County.  I have never met someone more proud of their siblings...really.  Heart of gold.  Has a precious girlfriend...I love her just as much. 

Stop the cuteness

He can easily dance your socks off.  Check him out here.  41 seconds in is where he really gets poppin'.  Everyone always fought for chose him as their date to formals and the like.

Did I mention he was the Anchorman?  Oh because he was.  I personally campaigned for him for the prestigious position.  Delta and G-another mutual love.

He knows all there is to know about me.  He could easily be a bridesman (?).  No seriously.  He says he is moving to DC but we both know he should move to the Big City with me.  It would be much more fun.

So here's to you RWM.  I just love ya.  Can't imagine you not in my life.  So glad we met way back when. 

Ok, I hear you

This is getting borderline obnoxious, I know.  I just keep posting, don't I?

Caution: This post is a little deeper than what I normally do.  A bit of my faith in cyber-world.  Something only select audiences have heard.  Huge leap for sure.  

I've been struggling recently.  With my faith, with my God, with just some parts of life.  Do you ever feel like that?  I'm sure it's very normal.  My praying knees have not gotten tired but there have been times when I felt like my prayers were falling on deaf ears.  My struggle really started in November when I started applying to grad school.  The reality of how competitive the process really is set in.  I was so worried that I would never get in.  I sought scripture during those four-to-five months and found a scripture that I sometimes have to say to myself more than once a day.  Mark 5:36.  "Don't fear, just have faith."  I really struggled "giving it all to God".  Just trusting that it would all work out.  On March 2nd, I had a particularly hard day.  I really just pleaded with God to know something, ANYTHING before Spring Break.  I knew if I had to ponder on it for the whole week I just couldn't take it.  That DAY I got the phone call that would forever change my life.  Just what I needed.  I drove around Oxford that afternoon absolutely hysterical.  Tears of JOY.  A true moment where I could actually SEE what He was doing in my life.  Ok, I hear you.

As the semester went on I only had one acceptance letter and it was from my school.  The deadline was quickly approaching.  I REALLY wanted to go to another school.  I wasn't so sure about moving to the Big City.  I basically had a chat with God and said the only way I will go is if I don't get in anywhere else.  Right.  So I sent in my acceptance letter and THEN all the other letters came rolling in. Ok, I hear you.   

The summer has been great.  Very relaxing.  I've just been dealing with some uncertainties.  Again, I'm going to go with that is...normal.  Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to this jewelry party.  And no, I'm not 45, and yes, it was fun.  So at the party I really debated on buying something.  Did I REALLY need to?  Well, I settled on this simple sterling silver necklace, holding a small cross pendant.  After that night I never thought about it again.

So today rolls around.  I'm up and eating some lunch when my mom gets some unwelcomed news about a family member.  News that leaves you pretty jilted, but more than that, it's the type of news you know you have to hope for the best until more test results come back.  So that's what we we've been doing today.  And praying during down times.  After running some errands today I get home and pulled out the mail.  As I opened the mailbox, I saw a package.  Inside?  Yeah.  The cross necklace.  Ok, I hear you.

Some of you might say, what a coincidence. 

I can tell you, it wasn't.

HE knows the plan.

I don't.


We have such a compassionate God.  I just need to let go and listen.

Timeless

Why don't people look like this anymore?

My second favorite picture of my grandparents.  People just don't look like this anymore.  Mimi looking flawless and drop dead gorgeous.  Papa looking absolutely handsome...as usual.


Truly timeless