Stream of Consciousness

Glad to be starting off another week here in the Big City.  Thankful the snow is melting and it is warmer.  Sad knowing  another wave of snow is headed here this week but I digress...

So I've been kind of MIA as of late.  I apologize.  After my first full week here (so last weekend) I fell ill with a stomach virus of sorts.  It was not fun, to say the least, but I enjoyed some good movies and quality time on my couch.  Since all of that went down, I KNEW I was going to have to make up for it this weekend.  Make up for it, I did.  But back to that in a minute.

Had a good week.  Got caught up on some wedding planning from MyH(e)art.  Got some counseling from edotlouise.  Got some face time with three super cute roomies in Oxford.  Saw No Strings Attached...you should too.  Chatted with Janety.  Had the usual freak out moments.  Worked out with Jillian...you should too.  Was surprised (more than once) and completely flattered this week...that's always nice.  Did some reflecting- it really is blowing my mind that one year ago (in two weeks) I traveled to the Big City for the first time.  What a difference a year makes.  I am SO thankful, lucky, and blessed.  No really, I am.

So this weekend.  We headed out on Friday night to the Wash Ave. area.  I was ready to do something fun.  We went to a fabulous piano bar.  For whatever reason, we'd never been.  I will be going back.  Dueling pianos and drums?  Yes, please.  I'm sure it surprises you but I sang along the entire time.  And jumped up on stage to break it down.  See ya, social standards.

My date.  As usual.  At least she's a good one.

 Looks like I should jump in a tanning bed soon...you know, if I did stuff like that...

 Cuties 

The recently engaged.  How sweet.

So after that, we decided that we were not ready for the night to end.  We headed to a hooka bar down the street.  We waited (longer than I would have liked to) on a table.  In that time, I did the Cupid Shuffle with a large group of African American women.  I feel that one, in particular, didn't think that I had it in me to keep up with the moves.  That surprised me...because the "meat" of the song is telling you how to do the steps.  But sure, I'm white, so I get it.  Moving on.  So we finally sit down.  There are Middle Eastern (looking) men all around.  One in particular was sitting at the table right in front of ours.  He started talking to our table and staring at me.  He asked what flavors we were smoking and vice versa.  Some how I ended up at his table with his group of friends.  It randomly came up that I am the tiniest bit Lebanese.  So he asks- Can you dabke?  Not to be showed up (we also know I enjoy a challenge/dare), I said- Of course I can dabke.  So two songs later I was up doing the dabke with nine Pakastanian men.  Never seen it?  Here it is.  Yeah and this could have been the exact song- they all sound the same to me.  Apparently, I am very good.  It was really fun.  So Yasar (yes, that's his name) asks me if I would like to "have some air" outside.  Sure, why not.  So we step outside and talk.  We practice some more complex dabke moves- where we were captured on video camera and live streamed into the bar on a HUGE TV above the bar.  Oh, Hi!  So that was fun. 

Last night we went to a tap house.  We hung out with Roomiekins' undergrad friends and then our school friends as well.  It was like her two worlds merged in one bar.  I personally would love that...so all you people not in the Big City...come. 

So maybe not that interesting but still fun for me.  I'll be in Oxford the second weekend in February.  Prepare yourselves.  I'm SO excited and really ready to see some old and new friends.  Like so excited. 

So have a great week.  Do something for yourself.  Do something different.  Meet someone new.

58 and counting

Days, that is.

Until spring.  Believe me, it can't come soon enough.

Yeah I know, I haven't been back in the Big City that long, but the snow?  Seriously, needs ta go.

Yesterday, Accuweather (my favorite app) told me that the Big City would be getting 4-6 inches of snow.  In typical Southern fashion, I set out yesterday for provisions for the long snowy days ahead.  By the time I got back, the snow started to fall.  I get back and get unpacked and turn the TV on.  The ticker at the bottom was flashing multiple school closings.  I think, YES...my school will be canceled too!

No such luck.

As I rose this morning at (5:50, mind you) I look out, see a TON of snow and quickly jump back in bed.  I get online and check my school's website and what do I find?  "Classes remain scheduled for Thursday, January 20, 2011".   Excuse me?

So I grit my teeth and get ready for class.  When I stepped outside I was greeted with 5 inches of snow.  So naturally, I took a picture...so you could see.  The things I do for you.

Props to Santa on the parka 

As soon as we stepped off the side walk, Roomie took a dive into the snow.  She was, at least, graceful...but very cold after that.  During my one mile walk to school I realized what it would feel like to be the only person on the planet...because the streets were abandoned...well except for the two of us walking down the street.  As we passed by the metro stop, an older woman got off...thinking she was being cute she said, "Don't you wish we were all still in school so we could get a snow day?"...lady we are still in school...in fact, we are headed there now. 

So I make it through class.  Was thrilled to get out.  I head home to eat lunch...knowing that in just a couple of hours I would have to get out in it again...but this time, I would have to drive.  My biggest fear.  Yes, there are snow plows here.  Yes, they put salt out.  But for some one who has no experience driving in snow...it was terrifying.  It's intimidating too.  

I go get in my car.  Backing up was difficult because of the mound of snow behind my car.  I ended up getting out. I drove slower than my grandmother the entire way but the drive to work was not bad at all.  I started feeling pretty proud of myself.  So what did I do after work?  Just headed to the mall...but really to look at some snow shoes.  After little success I headed home.  I was thanking the Lord when I pulled into the garage because I  had made it back.

So get this.  As I pull up over the ramp there's a girl stuck in the snow...pretty much blocking my parking spot.  So what happens to me?  You betcha!  Beef gets stuck too.  Oh but what's better?  Someone drives up behind me...oh and someone drove up behind her...so a swell four car pile up all up in the garage.  Being the Southerner that I am...I had no clue what to do.  People started telling me to go find cardboard to put under my tires.  Umm ok where do you suggest I go to do that?  We start trying to push cars...no success.  So then we decide we should work on one car at a time.  Some how, mine was selected to be moved first.  I chock it up to the accent/major freak out damsel in distress moment that I was having.

Cue gorgeous man heading to his car.  Yes, you sir.  Help us.

So he did.  He tells me to get in my car and drive, while he pushes me out.  I think- oh, chivalry is still present in the Big City!  This fails but was a valiant attempt. So (and this will tell you how desperate I was) I tell him to get in my car and just park it.  He tries.  He failed.  So we (me and two girls) push my car while he navigated.   Ding ding!  He did it.  So after that, we worked on getting every one else out and situated. And we were successful. 

Following the aforementioned series of events I've vowed to never drive in the snow again.  And I'm serious.  I also needed a Valium but a Diet Dr. Pepper seemed to do the trick. 

58. Really? 

DIY

What break from school would be complete for me...without some DIY?  I love do it yourself projects.

Jenty called while I was in the middle of working on this shelf and the conversation went something like this:

Jenty: Beeeffffff!!!!  Girl what are you doing?

Me: BIG JANETYYYYYY! Painting.  What about you?

Jenty: Of course you are...

My little "DIY's" have kind of become a joke with my friends...but I don't care.

I got a TV (for my room) for Christmas.  I was most excited.  I really can't wait to be all snuggly in my bed while watching TV.  Well if you give a girl a TV...she's going to need something to put it on.  Family to the rescue.

Isn't it great?  The molding is really unique and fun.  I looked at it and knew I wanted to paint it gray.  Why?  I'm not sure but it seemed fitting.  I also wanted to cover some foam with fabric to put in the back of the shelves.  I found a really great rust and turquoise diamond print linen fabric.  It was just right!

Big difference, huh?  I really love the way it turned out.  I hope these pictures do it justice.  My room is the size of a large shipping box, my bed is the size of a ship, and my lamps have blue halogen bulbs (yeasss...no over head lighting)...so you get what you get.

I traveled back to the Big City today.  As a gypsy.  My car was absolutely loaded down.  So much so that three lovely individuals asked me if I was moving in.  No.  Just came back from Christmas.  Here was my passenger today

 Btheway...this is only the shelf (from the night before take off).  I also had hanging clothes, four suitcases, a cooler, groceries, a laundry basket, TV, and a bunch of other things that we had to MacGyver into the car. 

Yessssir.  Buckled in.  

After getting all my dreck inside and unloaded I was exhausted.  Like real tired.  Actually did feel similar to the day I moved in.  Here are some adds to the apartment from Christmas...if you're interested. 

 In love with this guy.  Spied one similar at Brelander's condo (Thanks Mama Mitzi) and have wanted one ever since.

 Still working on his home but I LOVE him.  Thanks Tilda!!!

 Look who's backkkkkkkk!!!

This isn't huge, but candles for the candle stick holder...that has been naked since August.  It's a work in progress, people. 

So that's that. 

Did it all myself. 

Portland

There have always been a few a few things that I never thought  I would compromise on.

A couple of those being:

Thanks, here's credit  Oh and here too

Yes.  Toothpaste and toilet paper.

Yes, possibly neurotic.  But no, no compromise here.  Had to be these brands...and preferably a double roll...if I'm being honest.  But as I entered the world of grad school I had to make some compromises.  While I clung to these brands until around midterm, I found that I could survive without my extra-whitening toothpaste and...well toilet paper is toilet paper...still has to be a double roll and three-ply but I've found a way to get by.

All this "compromising" has made me realize there are still things in life that I won't compromise on.  One of those being: Portland.

Portland.  It has kind of become my metaphor, if you will, for love.  Like "the one" (If you believe in such a thing).

See a few years back I was in a serious relationship.  This was pre grad school application process, but at the time I was looking in to schools that would be in close proximity to him.  We had discussed different scenarios about where we would be in the next few years (let's say five) and at the time, he felt he was being led to Oregon...Portland to be exact.

I can still vividly remember that conversation.  We were riding around one night...in the rain...when he dropped that bomb on me.  I kind of laughed it off at first, but when he asked if I would come with him I knew he was being completely serious about it.  All I said was...no.  At that moment I really had no clue the impact that the conversation, but especially the answer, would have on my life.

A few weeks later I was with my family for Easter.  After dinner my uncle came into the kitchen to chat with me.  I think he wanted to catch up on what had been going on in my life...but I think we were solving world problems that night.  As we sat at the kitchen table we literally flipped a coin to see if I would go to graduate school for Speech Pathology or Audiology.  Best two out of three and the rest is history.  But then.  Yeah then we started talking about the boy and relationships.  I told him things were serious and we had been together a long time, so naturally I was looking at schools close to him.  We talked about Portland and I'll never forget what he said: "Nothing good happens in Portland.  It always rains, but the problem is in your answer.  If this was it, you would go".

Thinking about it still takes my breath away.  It was one of those sky-opens-up-heavenly-host-of-angels-singing-a-heavenly-chorus-bright-light kind of moments.  It really was.  I would go...if it was right.

I kid you not.  A little over two weeks after the "enlightenment" conversation...the relationship ended.  And after four long years, it was just over.

I doubt my uncle knows that I've held on to this little "metaphor" for so long.  I know he didn't intend on it having some "great meaning" in my life, but it really did.  Since then, I know what I'm looking for when it comes to relationships.  I know that when it come down to it...I'll want to go too....I'll have to go too.  Even if it is Portland...where nothing good happens and it only rains.

One day I will...


End up in Portland.

Stream of Consciousness

This post is going to be a very random conglomeration of things.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Some tales from the Big City and other things that are just on my mind.

1. First and foremost.  Happy Birthday edotlouise!!!! I hope you have the best day ever.  Dr. Nelson better treat you like a princess...but doesn't he every day? :)  I'm missing my married friends and I'm happy to know they (Yes, even Dr. Nelson!!!) are missing me too.  Wish I was there to celebrate with you my precious ange!

Happy Happy Edotlouise.

2. This story I mentioned but I've yet to discuss on the ol' bloggy.  So the weekend before I came home for the holidays I went out to dinner with the Roomie.  Just the two of us.  We decided to have a night of eating and movie watching.  The weekend prior I had a celebratory weekend...a legit celebratory weekend.  You can ask Berns, we woke up more than one day that weekend to what looked like a murder scene in my apartment.  I'll spare you the details but we (for lack of a better word) raged.  So for that night out with the Roomie I vowed to make it home early.

That lasted all of about 30 minutes. So we head to dinner.  Roomie starts texting an old friend who was in town.  He and a group of his friends show up where we were eating.  As they walk in I make eye-contact with a guy in his group.  I automatically think...he looks oddly familiar  he's pretty cute.  So they end up joining us at our table.  Random cute guy comes and sits right beside me.  It was then that I looked at him and said, "You look so familiar, where are you from?"...which he replies..."Oh this place I'm sure you've never heard of."

Haha yeah.  At that moment, random cute guy became CHS graduate of '05...and I was CHS graduate '06.  Dang.  So we get to talking.  I'm thinking this is totally bizarre.  He's lived in the Big City for almost six years.  We start trying to figure out who the other was...you know based on our high school friend groups.  So I tell him "who I am" "who I was".  And you know what he says?  "Oh yeah, I know exactly who you are!"  I assume I started smiling because the next words out of his mouth were: "Ahhh yeah, you feel good that the popular older guy noticed you back then.".....

I'm sorry, who are you?  Contrary to your twisted beliefs...you weren't (aren't) as popular as you think you are.  So I let that roll off.  We decide to all hang out...you know all these old and new friends united.  We head to an apartment across the street from mine.  We lasted there all of 20 minutes before we were asked to leave...noise violation.  Being the fun people that we are, the roomie and I invited everyone over to our place before heading to the bar.  So all nine (keep that number in mind) of us head over to our place.  We all get on the (same) elevator.  Having a great time until we get to floor 10...2 floors away from mine...when the elevator stops.  Stops moving.  Stuck.  All nine of us.

Surprisingly...I don't freak out.  Roomie not so much.  We call 911...you know...from the elevator.  We follow their directions...all trying to stay calm.  One dude starts FREAKING out...like banging his head on the wall, pounding his fist on the door, screaming (bloody freaking murder), cursing every blasted person trapped inside...freaking out.  The boys had to tame him.  I told him I had no problem absolutely killing him inside those walls...and if you know me...I was being completely serious. Cheers.

So nearly 40 minutes later we were freed from the confines of that elevator.  Nine firefighters...and the Chief of Fire (would that be his title?) came to free us.  I've never been so happy to breathe clean air. So that happened.  It was special.

 Had my Landshark...was good to go.

 Most hostile man on this planet. 

Hello Chief of Fire.  I have no shame in telling you I kissed this man...as well as the other nine.

3. I got to see my Jenty this past weekend.  My oh my.  I needed it and didn't even know it.  I haven't had one on one time with her since before graduation.  I've seen her twice since May.  Once for lunch in July and once for a 20 minute jaunt back at Thanksgiving.  That's just not enough.

As soon as she got in my car it was like we had gone right back to Oxford.  Cruising down the streets. Not a care in the word.  It felt so comfortable.  Seeing her meant I got to meet the boy I've heard about for the last...6 months or so.  She smiles like I've never seen when she talks about him...just beaming.  As soon as he walked in we hugged. A big hug.  Me and this boy I'd never met...but it felt like we had known each other for 100 years.  It really did.  And he looked at her.  With the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.  So much adoration.  And it made me feel good.  This boy.  That I've heard so much about. That makes her the happiest I've seen.  He looked at her in such a special way.  And at that moment I knew why I'd heard so much about him.  He is lucky.  But so is she.

4. Snow.  I am currently trapped here in the South in the "Snowpocalypse" of 2011.  Or as my friend Stephen Colbert said, "The Weather of Northern Aggression".  Yeah I'm down here in it.  The schools have been out for two days.  No bread, milk, eggs, or (as my family found out) Cheddar Sour Cream and Onion chips to be found.  I found out today that the Big City was out of class today too...which scares me because I can only imagine how bad it must be there.  Selfishly, I didn't want it to snow here.  I know it will stick around the Midwest until February...I'm ready for like 78 degrees.  That would be amazing.  No more snow please.

5. Family bonding.  I can tell you Black Swan is not the movie you want to see if you want to "bond" with your family.  We went today.  Geez.  We had been warned but Boosin REALLY wanted to go.  We left out the whole this-is-a-ballerina-movie when we invited Daddy to come along.  I spent half the movie with my eyes closed.  I know my father wanted to jab his own jaw out with a nail file after it was over.  My mother has serenaded us with scores from the film...as well as performed some of the Black Swan choreography.  We're proud of her.  Then the Poodle got to sit by our father while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman got it on...and you know...the other stuff.  Excellent it is. Family bonding it is not.

6. The Wheel.  This week...on the 13th.  My buddy will be on Wheel of Fortune.  Check him out.  The gingerman.  I have no doubt he will do really well.

I warned you.  Lots of random stuff.

Bare It All

Baring it all.

I've been thinking about it a lot.  Do we bare it all on our blogs?  What is the purpose of blogging?  You know, when I started this thing I wrote with good intentions of keeping my family up to date with my move...and really to help myself remember what I've been up to.  But then there's this other part of me that likes to think of it as my journal...but I honestly don't treat it like that.

See, I have journal.  You know, the place where I can be completely honest with myself.  Where I can share the inner-workings of my mind.  The place where I'm able to just write my praises, joys, disappointment, anger, excitement, fear, anxiety, hurt, hopes, challenges...you know the real stuff.

This outlet has been great for me.  I love being able to see how far I've come but I rarely (if ever) write about what I'm really feeling.  If you are really close to me then you absolutely know how I'm feeling.  This is true because I wear my heart on my sleeve but not only that I also tell everything...rarely leaving any details out...but this is only if you're in my circle.  Probably less than a hand full of people.  So why is that?  What am I scared of?  Would it be possible to share those "inner-workings" with all of you...a lot of you complete strangers...can I do it?

I'm going to try....

Soon.

Got ya.

Yeah, it's that one step forward and one step back kind of thing.

So here's a question for you.  Do you bare it all?  Do you put it on your blog or in your journal?  Or do you tell your best friend, or your boyfriend/girlfriend, or your fiancée, or your husband/wife, or your mama, a total stranger?  Do you tell?

It's hard and something I'm struggling with.

Can you? Do you?

Bare it all.

2010 Recap

In case you missed it, we've stepped into 2011...and with all this iPhone 4 hoopla...you really could have missed it if your alarm never went off.  I kid.  2010 was a great year for the DailyBeef.

In case you missed it:
I applied to grad school

Returned to Oxford and faced some demons (releasing the "inner-Beef"...if you will)

Traveled to the Big City at the beginning of the year, thinking "this will be a great trip, but I'll never go back"

Literally made myself sick worrying over if I would get into grad school...even more worried that I would have to climb the ladder at Ann Taylor if things didn't work out (I kid...kind of)

Got a call that would change my life in March (Got in to that school in the Big City...what?!)

Went on my first (and last) cruise

Decided I was going to move to the Big City after all

Enjoyed my last formal

Drug my feet as it got closer to graduation

Talked to the roomie for the first time on the phone

Hid my tears in the Grove the day I actually walked across that stage

Was honored to stand by two of my very best friends as they became Mr. and Mrs. Edotlouise  Nelson

Became a blogger

Worked really hard to buy furniture for my very first apartment

Went to the Big City, met the roomie, and signed my life away

Went to the Neshoba County Fair

Started to freak out about my move as we picked up the UHaul

Packed up and did it...I moved to the Big City

Met new fabulous friends that really helped my transition

Started classes...my future

Soaked up my new City

Had my first visitor in the Big City

Was asked to stand with another fabulous couple on their wedding day

Went to church in the Big City...by myself

Had a total stranger defile my bathroom (and home for that matter)

Embraced my gnomeness on Halloween

Returned to Ole Miss for Homecoming (how appropriate)

Dated randomly here and there (that's always fun  funny)

Saw the Arch...from the inside

Discovered as much as I want to work with kids, I really like working with the elderly...like a lot

Went home/to the Delta for Thanksgiving

Studied really hard...did well on finals

Got to go home for Christmas...finally

Enjoyed the season with my family

Yeah.  It was a great year.  This is merely a list of what happened over this year.  Really?  I learned what it felt like to really take a leap of faith.  I really learned to not sweat the small stuff...believe me, that was huge.  When things are challenging or not going my way...I think back to my blog..."adventure called life".  An adventure it really is.  Everyday.  I became a big girl this year in the Big City.  I was pushed out of my comfort zone, I managed a household and budget, and learned a lot about myself.  I put A LOT of trust in the Lord...and as usual, he did not disappoint.

Looking ahead to 2011:
HOPE. HOPE is what I am after.  This year I HOPE that I:
Continue to be a good friend, make my parents proud, strengthen my faith, pray more, build others up, be content with myself, work hard, don't procrastinate as often, am confident, am proactive, challenge myself, believe tomorrow will be better than today, have a positive attitude every day, worry less about what people think, and encourage others.

2011 is promising.

I look forward to what this year holds.  

It's what I make it.

I HOPE I do it right.

A mystery to unfold.